2019 was a bad year for me. I was struggling with alcoholism. I was broke, tired, and disconnected from practically everyone who ever cared about me. I was sitting in a jail cell after I had a DUI. I was suffering badly from PTSD after I was robbed at gunpoint at work. I couldn't sleep without reliving that experience over and over. I had been diagnosed with a slew of health issues. I was sure my life was over and decided when I got out that I was just another victim of bad luck and a tough life.
As I waited for my court date, ready to throw my hands up in front of the judge and offer myself to the system, I spent all my time angry. I blamed the universe and the cruel people who all seemed out to ruin me. During this time I lost my apartment, all my possessions and was living at a camp site in the middle of nowhere. I had been caught up in a storm of my own creation, and when people told me I was strong enough to get through it all, or that the future is what you make it, I would laugh and damn them for liars or fools.
I was told if I drank or did drugs again I would go to jail for a year. People around me were begging me to make a change. None of it resonated because I was too far into my own self-pity to listen. I kept saying my situation was somehow different from the millions who had went through hard times and somehow persevered. Someone eventually suggested I should do something I used to love to do before everything went bad, to write. I started writing again, and spending more time actually listening to people who had their lives in order. I was attending AA meetings, classes, and talking with people who had suffered through far worst things than me. I started to keep a journal. Writing goals and things I felt were holding me back, this had some effect, but I struggled to remain interested in the endeavor.
I had yearly and daily planners lying around, and although I started them, I never seemed to keep up with them. I felt like I was filling out forms at the DMV.
I started looking for other options, something that might get me more into the spirit of planning, and immediately I was enticed when I started reading about Panda Planner, and even more-so when I read the stellar reviews. I ordered the Monthly planner and the second it arrived I got to work.
That was 3 months ago and since then I've become unrecognizable to friends and family. I've been completely sober of both alcohol and drugs, and have met more goals than in this short time than I have in years prior. I attribute a great deal of this to my strong desire for a better life, but my Panda Planner has been an incredible boom to my self-esteem. Setting goals, gratitude checklist, and all the motivations packed into these little books really has a positive effect. I've seen health improvements, am now working in an industry I used to think would never allow me into, and have paid off all of my fines and cleaned a great deal of old wreckage up from my life. It's hard to articulate the deep psychological impact its had on me, which explains why it's widely endorsed by top psychologists around the world.
For me, the planner gives me a lot of hope and ideas for the future. I'm drawn to it often, and haven't been disappointed by it yet.
I would highly recommend Panda Planner to anyone, and have already ordered several for friends and family who are struggling to meet their goals, or just want to elevate their lives in some way.
Check it out yourself, and thank you for reading my story.